Dating Tips 101

Hey lovely bloggers 😉

You’ll want to read this whole story.. I promise.

So I was recently talking to one of my friends about dating. You know, whatever dates we’ve been on, where we went, how it ended, etc.

Then it got me to thinking about this one date I went on & it was by far, the worst (not that I’ve been on a ton of dates or anything), most miserable experience ever but now that I look back on it, it’s pretty funny and I love telling this story! Plus, I thought it would give you all a good laugh. 😉

**This is based on a true story, but names will not be mentioned.

So a mutual friend set me and this kid up and we started talking via facebook. (Doesn’t everyone do that now?) And he seemed really cool, and we got along really well (then again, it is the internet) so we decided to meet up and hangout. Being the smart girl that I am 😉 , I suggested we met at the Cheesecake Factory (taking our own seperate cars).

 

So we planned to meet at 7:30. Mind you, this was like a blind date because although we might of had a mutual friend, we have never met in person. So I was already nervous. When I got to the restaurant, at about 7:20, he called me and said he just got home, and had to shower and he’d be there soon. WTF, should I just leave now? Of course, I didn’t say this because it would make me sound like a huge bitch, but I was thinking it.

So I sat and waited for him and he finally showed up at 8pm. Half hour late for a first date? Terrific. Minus 10 points. 😉

 

Meeting him for the first time in person was cool, but terrifying. He was a lot shorter than I pictured him to be. I’m 5’3 and he was probably barely an inch taller than me. Ehh, not my favorite thing in a guy.

 

Also, I giggled to myself because he was such a pretty boy. & I hate pretty boys. He was wearing a pastel colored polo, light jeans with holes in them and sandles. Uhhh, what? I love guys that dress like guys. I mean, a plain simple shirt, jeans, tims, or sneakers, whatever. Even a simple sweatshirt, it doesn’t matter. But pretty boys just aren’t my thing. I’m suppose to be the pretty one, remember?

Pretty Boy Swag 😉

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But I chose to look past these minor things.. after all I didn’t really know him.And then we finally got sat at a table. We were looking through the menu and I wasn’t sure what to get but I was starving.  And any girl knows that most of the time (I’ve never heard otherwise from any girl, ever) that you usually feel self conscious when you eat in front of a new guy for the first time or two.

 

 

I was undecided about what to get until this kid was like, Oh I’m gonna get a salad. SALAD?! Are you kidding me? So now I’m thinking oh great, WTF now I have to get a salad! So I ended up ordering a Caesar salad, and he got a salad too but I can’t remember which one. Then the bread basket came…

 

 

And you know how at the Cheesecake Factory, you always get a loaf of white bread and wheat bread? Well, I love the wheat bread, a lot! This kid I was on a date with clearly did not like bread or carbs for that matter, and did not touch the bread basket. Guess who else didn’t eat any bread? As if the date couldn’t go any worse, it did because then our wonderful salads came. Wooo. He literally took 4 bites of his salad and exclaimed, “Oh I’m so full. I had a protein shake before I came” Is that suppose to impress me pretty boy? 😉

 

 

Pretty Boy wishes he could be jacked like this lady

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So here I am, starving and since he proclaimed he was done eating, then so was I. Even the waitress came over and said “you guys are done?! You didn’t even touch your salad!”. I was so so soooo mad & uncomfortable! I couldn’t be myself around this kid.

 

Did we get dessert? Are you kidding ? I wish. But no we didn’t. Big shot took the bill and paid for it, which was really nice though I have to admit. I’m all about sharing the expense because I’m a waitress slave and work hard for my money and I don’t expect others to pay for me. So since he paid, I offered to leave the tip for the waitress.

 

After we were done eating, all I could think about was how the hell do I get out of this now? I want to leave so I can go home and eat my left over salad! haha

 

But we ended up walking around the mall for a bit. At this point, this was where I kind of just wanted to run in the other direction. He put his arm around me. Dude, I don’t even know you. Am I right?

He invited me back to his place but I came up with some kind of excuse (I think I said, I had my mom’s car and she didn’t want me out late with it…clever? I thought so too). So I left and laughed the whole way home.

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The next day I had plans to go to the movies with a couple of friends from work. And this kid really wanted to hangout with me again. My friends heard about this disaster date and wanted me to tell him about the movies so that they could giggle and make their own assumptions.

 

So he brought a friend too and once again I found myself spending another night with pretty boy.Wonderful. Plus, we were going to see a scary movie, which probably made him think, oh she’ll def try to cuddle up against me! **Note to guys, girls aren’t really afraid of a stupid movie (at least I’m not). We’ll just act like we are if we like you so we can hold your hand or whatever.

 

So during the movie, he basically immediately held my hand and I hated it. He had small hands, and they were too soft. Was he a girl in disguise? I was starting to really question this. No I’m totally digressing, but still ! Then he had to put his arm around me and I glanced to my friends with a mortified look on my face, which I knew I must of done, because their response was a huge laugh in my face.

And I’m sure most of you, if not all of you, have experienced this before when your so totally uncomfortable in a movie theatre because of the seats and whatever and it’s just not fun when someone is trying to “cuddle”. So towards the end of the movie I didn’t know what to do so I grabbed one of my friends and made her come to the bathroom with me. Which FYI again guys, girls do this either because they really have to pee or because they can’t take you trying to hold their hand anymore. The second one was my reason.

After that night, I never saw him again. I showed no interest in seeing him again or returning his texts or calls. Luckily, he took the hint quickly. 😉

Question: Have you ever been on a disaster date? Did you give it a second try like I did? I wanna know!